Tag: Anxiety

Worry. Vacation. Relief.

by Alfredsson Jane, posted in Alfie Stories

Guys! Mom and Dad left us! Can you even believe your ears? It’s been like 3 days. Zuc and I love our Uncle Luke and his girlfriend Emily but they are not our Mom and Dad. On Sunday when Mom got home she, Dad, grandmom and grandpup packed some bags. Naturally Zuc and I got all hyped up excited because we get to go everywhere but then they said those dreaded words: “you’re staying”. It has never been a good day when we hear that. I started to panic. When I panic I have accidents. Brown puddle accidents. Can’t even help it..

Thank goodness for Emily though. She cleaned it all up so Uncle Luke didn’t puke. Then they stayed with us all night. I even got to snuggle up between them like I do with Mom and Dad. Zuc slept in Mom and Dad’s bed to keep a look out in the chance that they got home during the night.

We went to the park the other day and didn’t even play. It was our personal mission to find a way out for search and rescue Mom and Dad. We didn’t get too far.

And then, they came back! Mom was in high spirits and didn’t seem like she hurt too much. Dad spent the next day with us while Mom was at work. As soon as she got home we ALL got in the car and went for a ride to other grandmom and grandpup’s house!

Work. Exhaustion. Love.

by Alfredsson Jane, posted in Alfie Stories

In my last post I mentioned Mom is working 12 hour nights. Well she works 2 nights in a row and then gets 2 nights off except for sometimes she has to work 3 and then she’s off 3. Sounds great, right? Wrong. All she ever does now is sleep. She comes home at 6am, sleeps. Wakes up around 3pm (when dad gets home) then goes to work at 6pm unless she has the night off. If she has the night off that means she goes back to sleep at 9pm with dad. Zuc told me she wakes up around 2am and goes into the living room until we all wake up!

I sleep too soundly to know when mom wakes up but Zuc knows all so I trust him.

On her weekends Mom tries to stay awake and play with us but she almost always has to take a nap around 11am until who knows when.

She tells Dad all the time how tired she is and apologizes. We can all tell how exhausted she is so we let her sleep as much as we can. She says her medications for narcolepsy don’t really help and is scared about if she can keep doing this job even though she loves it.

The Demise of Nursing School

by Alfredsson Jane, posted in Alfie Stories

I hated nursing school. Why did mom have to go there and spend forever hours away from me just to come home and ignore me for this stupid computer and books? It was the worst. I guess during Fall semester mom finally saw that too. She was working at both The Dog Lodge and going to school. She looked like crap. I could smell the stress on her. This is mostly why I hated nursing school I think. Mom and dad couldn’t tell but Zuc and I could. She was killing herself. Her stress smells were out of this world. She wasn’t sleeping well because of it. I could sense and smell the pain she was in too. It was worse than normal but she would act like it was nothing.

I made sure to sleep on her every chance I got. It helped to reduce her restlessness when she slept but it also decreased her stress smells.

Then, mom ran out of medicines. She was so busy she didn’t have time to make her yearly appointment with her rheumatologist. He’s like 6 hours away so it’s almost impossible. The panic attacks started but this time they didn’t go away. Then,

Depression.

I wouldn’t leave her side. She would only get out of bed to take us out to go potty. She started to see a therapist thank goodness. I was so scared for her. We all were. The stress smells got worse, along with the bad smells. Grandmom came down to check on her and made her take a shower for the first time in TWO weeks. Grandmom stayed for a couple days and made her get out of bed. Dad was at his wits end. His stress smells were overwhelming. I knew he didn’t know what to do so Zuc and I tried our best to take care of mom for him. After that the therapist appointments were more frequent.

Zuc curling up with Mom.

All of a sudden, mom rearranged the entire apartment. Everything was taken out of the cupboards and all kinds of things were moved! There was so much stuff to get into! We both had fun. I made sure to get into things and look silly so mom would smile at me. I wasn’t sure I’d ever see her smile or show positive body language again! Her break from work was ending and she actually went in! I was so proud of her and so excited for all of the new dog smells that came back on her clothes.

She did not go back to school. She still hasn’t gone back to school. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t want to be a nurse anymore. I know she would still be a great one if it didn’t take so much from her. She’s so happy now. The Dog Lodge fills her up where nursing empties her. This is a better choice for everyone. I get all the smells and a new place to run around sometimes. Plus, she’s learning how to do dog training now and guess who gets to be the guinea pig! SO MUCH MOM AND ALFIE TIME!!!

Medications and their many changes

by Alfredsson Jane, posted in Alfie Stories

If you’ve read any of my other stories you know that my mom takes lots of medications. Well, we came to grandmom and grandpup’s house so she could de-stress after her major anxiety attacks. (She had one here too) We came for the weekend which has extended into the week. Mom did not anticipate this and ran out of her medicine! What will she do?! When she doesn’t take her medicines she gets craaaaazy. Or maybe it seems more like laaaaazy? A little bit of both I suppose. I’m definitely both! All the time! I love being a dog. If I want to run around like a crazy lady and jump into the doggie pool, I can. If I want to curl up on the dog couch and nap for a few hours, I can do that too. All day, any day. Maybe mom should become a dog?

Anyway, I call her craaaazy because she whines a lot. I don’t even do anything and she yells and says I hurt her. I mean sheesh, since when did kisses hurt?! She’s also crazy because one minute she could be super happy and the next she’s crying on me. She claims it’s because the Cymbalta is an SSNRI or something weird thing like that. It messes with her neurotransy-thingys in her head that make her decide how to feel about different things. Humans are just so darn complicated. For her it helps with the anxiety and depression but most of all with the control of her pain that attacks all over her body.

I call her laaaaazy because she doesn’t want to do anything with me. I guess it’s not that she doesn’t want to but more that she can’t. No medicines means no energy. The Provigil helps to keep her awake and keep her brain excited. We all slept for 2 whole hours yesterday! After sleeping all night long we passed out in bed in the afternoon and then went back to bed last night and slept all night again! I’m telling you, laaaaaaazzzzyyyyy.

Good thing I have extra friends here to keep me busy. And we’re still going to be here for at least 4 more days. I guess it’s time to call the doctor!